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Who is Michael Steele – The DNC Conspiracy

October 25, 2010

I was talking with Socialistocrat about how I get to meet Michael Steele next week and I had a sudden realization. Now look, this may shock you. If you’re faint of heart you may want to go ahead and skip this post – what I’m about to reveal might shock you.


Ok, so for those of you that don’t know (probably no one reading this obscure political blog) Michael Steele is the leader of the Republican National Committee. If you had to pick a leader of the Republican Party, after you point out all of the better known people with significantly more influence, you’d point to Michael Steele, shown below looking sad.



Now, one thing that you might find confusing is that he’s black. Yep, that’s right, a black leader of the RNC. Sort of a conundrum given our reputation. I think it’s generally agreed that the RNC did this to counteract Obama, but despite their greatest (yet horribly inadequate) efforts they can’t seem to shake the fact that they’re the party of the right white guy or the poor racist guy.


Anyways, Steele hasn’t done much with the party. While I don’t know much about the actual occurrences (other than the incident when RNC money was used to fund a trip to a lesbian bondage club or something, and I only know that  because why would anyone ever not want to have that bit of knowledge in their brain), it’s pretty much accepted among the politically informed that he hasn’t exactly helped the party and that his reign has pretty much been, at best, an ineffective joke. I’d compare him to a little kid sitting in the pilot’s seat of the airplane and screwing around with the control stick when autopilot is on.


So he hasn’t exactly helped. But this brings me to my point. Have you ever seen Michael Steele and Obama in the same room? Here’s my theory – they’re the same person. Steele is nothing but an intricate plant by the DNC used to make the RNC leadership ineffective. Back before Obama became president he got the job in the DNC’s underground lair to dress up as a different black guy, except Republican, and gain the trust of the RNC so that he’ll be voted into office. To establish his cover he had to become a successful black Republican politician. Obama (Steele) did this, and when it came time for Obama to run for office the DNC knew that the RNC, in an attempt to seem less racist, would pick a black Republican to lead them. And let’s be honest, how many black Republican’s are there? Seriously, the one they picked was a Lieutenant Governor in Maryland. Anyways, they picked the black guy, and now Obama (Steele) is ensuring Obama (Obama)’s reelection by destroying the Republican party from the inside using Mission Impossible style masks and exploiting the Republican need to convince others that they’re not racist.


It’s obvious I’m kidding, but I hope to God that I didn’t stumble upon the truth. I really don’t want DNC thugs to run me down in their Prius’ and shoot me with their M16’s firing environmentally friendly M855A1 EPR rounds to protect their secret.

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