Enhanced Interrogation Technique
America has gotten a lot of flak for “torture”. Well, I found a way that is not only more effective than torture, but also is not physically painful (except if the prisoner resorts to suicide). Yes, this is the perfect information gathering technique.
Here’s what you do. Take your Al Qaeda member and place him in a dark room, one bare light bulb. Tie him to a chair. Put a device on his head that forces him to look forward, and some sort of device to keep their eyes open and staring ahead. Put a piece of duct tape over their mouth. Trust me, you’re not going to want to hear the screams. Then, for several hours at a time, put them through sessions of watching this video. Note the runtime – over 35 minutes. They’ll tell you everything you need to know afterwards if you just threaten them with the video again. Oh, and as you watch this video, picture the screams of terrorists in the background.