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Very Sneaky, God

August 23, 2010

I try not to do too much religious commentary, but this being Sunday at the time of writing I thought of something. Ok, so apparently there’s this God dude. And he needs us to pray to him. A lot. Now I came up with this theory. I’m not going to stereotype too much, but it seems as if the worse your condition is (third world country vs. first world country, for example) the more God wants you to pray to him. Muslim guys living in Muslim areas do it like five times a day or something. I would assume that most American billionaires pray zero times per day. Why? They don’t need to look to the afterlife to comfort them, they’re fine with life as it is now. And it doesn’t stop there. Most middle class Americans would probably say that they’re religious but not actively practicing. Basically, there’s a pretty proportional graph of faith and personally perceived hardship I think.

What does this mean? Maybe there is a God, but he’s much more tricky than we think. Let’s just say there’s one God. He secretly disperses different religions throughout the globe, giving the ones that are the hardest to practice to the areas that suck the most. And here’s the big part – prayers, faith, and all that stuff aren’t actually necessary or good. They’re actually punishments designed to force you to move up socioeconomically and geographically because faith is difficult and pointless and prayers and that sort of thing are really just motivational tools to push you to a place where you don’t need to care about religion anymore. It’s all a big scam to get us to wake up one morning and go, “My life is pretty good. Screw the afterlife, I have lots of money and a big house and a whole room full of guns and computers.” And that betters society in the end. But God is up there, secretly forcing you not to believe in him in order to make earth better. Sneaky, God. Sneaky.

I don’t believe in this, but as an agnostic, who knows.

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