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Crazy Lady Attacks McDonalds Over McNuggets

August 12, 2010

In this hostile corporate environment, particularly in the fast food industry, the ability to please the customer is a must. For those of you familiar with the comedian Doug Benson’s bit about McGriddles and how he wants them after 10:30 AM this will especially hit home. The ability of a fast food establishment to create arbitrary times for the serving of specifics types of food is at the very least immoral and perhaps even unconstitutional. While I disagree with her methods, this woman clearly firmly stands by her God-given right to have Chicken McNuggets at any time in the morning she goddamn pleases. And to that I say bravo.

Just kidding, McDonalds should still serve McGriddles and McNuggets all the time but seriously, what a bitch. Screw horse tranquillizers, this woman is clearly on elephant tranquillizers. How is this political at all? Well, I thought up a reason. Sure, my true motivation for posting this on my political blog may or may not be that this is great and deserves to be posted, but my fake political reason is that I think that the Democrats and Republicans should take a stance on this issue. Republicans would probably go with “Business is good, let them decide what is best for their company, I hate McGriddles and I don’t want others to enjoy them either”, while the Democrats can say “The woman was clearly provoked, we must understand her perspective of this story to truly grasp the root of her anger”. And then the Neoconservatarians should just say “McDonalds, what the hell are you doing, open your lunch and breakfast menus at all times of the day, what is wrong with you. We can’t make you do it, but seriously, if you don’t, screw you. Oh, and that crazy woman who attacked your drive through is currently…being dealt with” (gunshot sounds in the background, Neoconservatarian lets out an evil laugh, Ronald McDonald promptly changes his menu options personally). And that’s the way you get things done.

Wait! Could that whole last paragraph be a metaphor for something? Nah. It’s not like I’m that brilliant or something. Any metaphor is strictly coincidental.

…or is it?

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