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My Plan for North Korea

August 9, 2010

They’re at it again. I don’t know how much of this is just general dickery by the North Koreans or if the media just really hates these guys, I’m going to go with the first one but I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s some truth to the second, but it seems like North Korea is getting to be a real problem. So, I devised a plan to get it good again.

Ok, first thing is first – assassination of North Korean leaders by South Korea. Hit them fast and hard. Take out the ruling family and all advisers. Go as far down the list of succession as they can. Second step – the US parks the Navy off the coast and pounds the shit out of them. We bring in a few aircraft carriers and hit military targets bad. I don’t know how good the South Korean air force and artillery is, but they do the same thing. If their stuff is bad then we give them some artillery and we use their airfields. China wouldn’t dare intervene, they don’t want a war with us any more than we want a war with them. Maybe they’ll give North Korea supplies, but who cares, we’re just going to blow up the supplies anyways.

South Korea invades. Special Forces teams go first, take out the places that really need to be taken out by small four man teams. No one else steps foot in North Korea. The US doesn’t dare, and South Korea doesn’t because they want the next step to go off well.

Puppet government time! A puppet government is set up. We control who rises as much as we can, be it through money and bribes or assassination. No one knows it’s a puppet government though and it doesn’t run like one. We get some native North Korean who is intelligent to run things. I don’t even care what government they have, as long as it’s not associated with the US and South Korea and they’re not being pains in our asses. Democracy and freedom would be nice, but if that’s not going to happen then I’ll settle for a totalitarian government that keeps to itself and plays nice with the international community.

It’s good up until that last point I think. The whole government thing is a little weird. I haven’t completely figured that out yet. I bet I could make it work though. We could also just start shooting every leader they put in power in the face until they get one that doesn’t suck too bad and that we can live with. I don’t know. I was doing pretty well with the whole war thing earlier on, maybe I should just keep with the war and destroy all of North Korea. Poof, no problem. And on that note I bid ye farewell.

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