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Pure Sci-Fi Villain Awesomeness

August 7, 2010

I was pricing out a life size, full metal Dalek from Dr. Who (don’t ask) when I came upon a news story from a few years back. No one has any legitimate sources that back up their claims, but everything that I’ve read indicates that a man built a life sized fiberglass Dalek by himself, got inside it, and drove it up to Parliament. He then proceeded to blast prerecorded Dalek phrases through the speaker system (“Exterminate!” if I had to guess) and shot some water out of his fake gun. The extremely confused guards pointed their machine guns at the Dalek, which was promptly escorted away. I don’t know if the guy was reprimanded in any way, but I hope he wasn’t.

Isn’t that awesome? I’m surprised it didn’t make bigger headlines. Anyways, the point is that it’s obvious that the British are terrified of Daleks. I would be too if my entire country basically rallied around opposing one thing – the bad guys on Dr. Who. And the Daleks are the baddest of the bad. It’s good to remember if we ever have a problem with the British (who needs M16’s when you have $4 worth of cylindrical scrap metal, a couple old brake light covers, and mounted toy laser guns), but I’m thinking more about America.

Obviously we’re having some trouble with the government, between a completely liberal Congress, Obama in power, and a new liberal justice on the Supreme Court that isn’t going to die for a long time, so it seems like we need an American version of the Dalek. Something that will creep the government out. Something that will make everyone in the government scared shitless when they merely gaze upon it. It needs to come from popular culture so that everyone will recognize it and be terrified. If those of us who want a different regime in power think of this pop culture anti-icon we can dress up like it and storm DC. Sure, the British government can take on one Dalek, but what if there were ten yelling “Exterminate!” The British wouldn’t have had a chance. And the humans wouldn’t have even fired a shot. They know how dangerous Daleks are, hell, even the Doctor is scared of them, they wouldn’t dare.

My humble idea? Well my first thought was that we all dress up as ghosts and scare everyone out of DC, but it turns out that some other group did that before and looking at the demographic chart of DC it turns out that my proposal could be misinterpreted by the current citizens pretty badly. My second idea was show the movie Serenity a lot and dress up like Reavers. But let’s be realistic, if Serenity got huge then Fox might pick up the TV show again and then I wouldn’t care who’s in charge of the government, who needs politics when you can watch all new episodes of Firefly. So, after I scratched my first and second ideas, since conservatives generally are in control of major private corporations (including television companies), we make it so that Star Trek: The Next Generation air more often. Then, when it has thoroughly permeated every facet of pop culture, we dress up as the Borg and take over DC. Just yell “Resistance is futile!” a couple times and everyone will run. Then we have DC and the primarily conservative Borg will rule the US forever. Why forever? Because by then the entire world will be a part of The Collective. But that’s a post for another day.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Aptronym permalink
    August 7, 2010 2:35 pm

    Magneto and the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants? If the protesters run out of mutants, they can just have everyone else comes as Multiple Man.

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