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If You Have Any Respect For Me, Don’t Read This

August 2, 2010

I had an idea. An idea so great that it may change the face of advertising forever. Maybe it’s all the Mad Men I’ve been watching recently, but I came up with an ad campaign that could make a certain company million, nay, billions of dollars.

The commercial begins. Blackness fills the screen, with excited chatter in the background. The lights fade in to reveal a new flavor of Planter’s peanut standing at a podium. Half of the crowd goes wild. Then the lights fade in on the other side of the screen to reveal a second Planter’s peanut. This one, however, is not just any peanut. It is, in fact, Planter’s second new flavored peanut. The other half of the crowd goes wild. The stage is set as if there is some sort of political debate occurring.

The moderation begins. The original Planter’s peanut asks each new peanut one simple question – “Why should you be the next Planter’s peanut?” Each gives their response. The crowd goes wild as the peanuts make their points, citing their flavor, their consistency, and their saltiness. They make slams at their opponent, calling them “disgusting” and such. And then the moderator ends the commercial with a deadline. Our original Planter’s peanut looks directly at the camera, breaking the fourth wall. As if talking to everyone watching through their TV sets he says, “The world must make a choice – which flavor will be accepted as the official new taste of Planter’s peanuts? On November 2nd log onto http://www.planterspeanuts.com to cast your vote in…The Goobernatorial Election.”

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