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Have We Lost Our Collective Minds?

July 14, 2010

If you have a Twitter account, and after you follow @nconservatarian (and have your mind blown by the mind-blowing background, click the link, you’ll see what I mean), go ahead and give @USABreakingNews a follow. Why? As the name implies, it’s the best way to get breaking news that concerns the USA. There’s nothing as cool as looking at Twitter, telling my brother on Facebook chat that there was an earthquake 40 seconds ago in California, and then several seconds later hearing that right after I said that he felt it.

However, @USABreakingNews posted something today that was, well, interesting. As I write this information is still coming out, so recognize that this is a preliminary report and I have no clue what I’m talking about. I’m just going on what I know now. Apparently in New Jersey the bomb squad is investigating a car that they believe to be a car bomb.

What qualifies this as a car bomb? According to the link,

“Police respond to a report of a 1998 Dodge Omni parked along Oliver Street and New Jersey Railroad Avenue, containing two five-gallon gas cans sitting on top of a toolbox with a battery charger next to it. Members of the bomb squad work to evaluate the vehicle.”

I bet out of everyone living in the US at the moment at least 15% of the entire population that drives a car has had, at one point in time or another, some gas for their lawn mower in the car, a toolbox because they occasionally have to fix things, and a battery charger for, you know, charging batteries.

Have we gone this crazy as a country? We can point to July 14th, 2010 as the day the terrorists won. We’re so scared that someone not only saw some gas cans, a battery charger, and a tool box in a car and immediately called in the bomb squad but also it made headlines in what I consider to be a reputable breaking news source. Besides, it’s New Jersey. Who cares if they blow it up, wouldn’t that just mean that the trash in our great  nation’s shithole will just be slightly more burned?

Here’s my criteria for calling in the bomb squad:

1) Does the guy who you saw at the scene look scary?

2) Can the things in the car or “bomb site” be used to make a real bomb, not just a relatively stupid firework?

I’m not even kidding. If it meets those criteria go ahead and call it in. What I picture here, however, is some 45 year old guy stopping at Starbucks on the way home from his relatively blue collar job to grab a coffee and avoid his wife/get a little free time for a few minutes. That guy is going to be pretty confused when his Grande Latte is finished, he decides to go home, and the bomb squad robot unleashes of barrage of M249 covering fire on him while SWAT M82A1’s his ass.

EDIT 7/14/10 2:30PM

@USABreakingNews JUST IN- CNN: Newark, NJ police say the suspicious vehicle does not contain an explosive device. They are still investigating as precaution.

What did I tell you?

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Aptronym permalink
    July 20, 2010 9:36 am

    Somebody set us up the bomb!!!

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