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General James Mattis, Petraeus’ Replacement

July 8, 2010

With McChrystal gone Petraeus took control of that position, but who gets to fill the position that Petraeus vacated? General James Mattis, apparently, is that guy. He now controls CENTCOM, which is basically what oversees the wars that we’re in. Never heard of the guy? Me either. Lucky for me, however, I have a blog and therefore I get to look up stuff about the guy. This immediately made me come across perhaps the best quote in the history of humankind.

“Actually, it’s a lot of fun to fight. You know, it’s a hell of a hoot. You go into Afghanistan; you’ve got guys who slap around women for five years because they didn’t wear a veil. You know, guys like that ain’t got no manhood left anyway, so it’s a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them.”

He got in a lot of trouble for that comment back in 2005, and Gates of course had to say that quotes like that don’t impact the decisions he makes today and Mattis sees the error of his ways, but personally I think that Gates should have instead used that quote as the greatest selling point for promoting the guy. It sounds like he’s pretty serious about this war, despite (or perhaps because of) his amusing views on what’s going on there.

This all leads to one important conclusion. Now I’m entirely basing my opinion on that one quote, i.e. how the guy phrases his sentences, how he got the message across, what message he got across, etc., however I’m fairly certain that the new leader of CENTCOM is Jayne Cobb from Firefly. And you know what? I’m ok with that. Hell, let’s just cut the middle man out and appoint Adam Baldwin to the position. When he’s not being a badass conservative gun-loving TV character he’s a badass conservative gun-loving human being. We could use a few guys like him in power.

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