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Zombies – The Biggest Gun Control Advocates

June 17, 2010

Now I’m not saying that this will happen, I’m just saying that there’s a pretty good possibility it will. The zombie invasion is coming, people, and it’s pretty inevitable. I was watching “Shaun of the Dead” last night (great movie, by the way) and at one point they’re trying to figure out how to use a lever action Winchester rifle to kill some zombies. Eventually they figure it out, but still, when the zombies attack in real life maybe you won’t have the 30 seconds to learn. So familiarize yourself with how guns work before it’s too late.

“Shaun of the Dead” takes place in England (very restrictive gun laws). The people in the movie don’t know how to use a gun, they don’t know how to aim correctly, and the pub owner keeps a decorative lever action rifle in his pub with a round already loaded into the chamber and the hammer back. They obviously know nothing about guns. If this isn’t a good enough argument for getting rid of all gun regulation then I don’t know what is. I guess if you’re for gun regulation you’re pro-zombie? Citizens need to know how to shoot, load, and aim guns. They also need to have them in their house so when the zombies come the normal people have a chance. Go out and buy a Remington 870 for every room in the house, that way when they invade you’ll always have a shotgun within reaching distance. And go practice at the range, if you can’t hit the head then you may as well not waste your ammunition.

In conclusion, support the NRA and preserve your right not to become a mindless zombie.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Aptronym permalink
    June 17, 2010 3:41 pm

    This was an interesting read. Two tangentially-related topics being pushed closer and closer together until the last line connecting them.

  2. LenMaltin permalink
    June 20, 2010 9:30 am

    This is the most coherent argument I’ve ever hear for gun advocacy. No joke.

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