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The Oil Spill Officially Bores Me

June 16, 2010

I’m tired of writing about the oil spill. Quite frankly it bores me. I’d rather be writing about how Nancy Pelosi can probably hide small objects within the wrinkles on her face, and how Obama has a…way…of speaking…that is…very…annoying and…disjointed…and that………….annoys me very much. And he uses the phrase “Let me be clear” way too much. I know he’s probably pretty intelligent, he didn’t get to the presidency by being dumb, but it almost seems like they plucked him out of a “special” school somewhere at the age of 32, taught him how to wear a suit and read off of a teleprompter, and basically formed his flexible toddler-sized brain into a cult of personality for the Democrats.

But alas, I digress. He gave some speech tonight about the oil spill I think, I don’t even know anymore. Isn’t that sad? I don’t even care enough about the oil spill anymore to watch our President address the nation about it on national television. Hell, I don’t even care enough to Google it. Literally in the time it takes me to finish this sentence I could have Googled the answer to my question and known by now. But nope, I don’t care. Old news. Blame it on the years of video games or a US mindset similar to the proles in 1984, I don’t even have an attention span long enough to care about one of the greatest environmental issues ever to happen to the US. And I don’t even care enough to look up the exact number of months it’s been since the oil spill started so that I can put it into perspective how short my attention span is on an issue as important as this (yet again, I could have found the answer to that question by the time I finished this sentence). I started this blog to tackle some serious political issues with a bit of humor. Besides a Nelson Muntz laugh at the animals too stupid to swim or fly away form the slow moving black glob of oil making its way toward them, there isn’t really anything entertaining in this.

What a message to send out to Mother Earth though – if you’re such a bitch that you feel you need to hide the oil we need to survive under a couple thousand feet of water and the ocean floor, us humans will literally stab you with a giant straw and bleed the oil out of you until death out of spite. Quite frankly I’m proud of BP, they’ve struck a blow for us all. Maybe Earth will think twice next time before it tries to screw us humans over again. Earth got off easy this time; next time it screws with us it better remember that Obama hasn’t gotten rid of all of our nukes (yet).

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Aptronym permalink
    June 17, 2010 4:04 pm

    There’s a reason that it’s so tough to follow something like the oil spill for a long time. Following it requires the investment of time, energy, and emotion. You have to care, but over time it becomes more and more difficult to do so. Every time the topic comes up, you spend a little bit of that energy; you care less and less. With a topic so major, there are constant developments and gossip, so the well is drained quickly. Apathy kicks in long before the crisis is over.

    Part of this effect is a result of what you get out of following the spill. It fills the need to be informed and provides something for you to get emotionally invested in (even a little at a time). However, short of a happy resolution (exceedingly unlikely), this is all you get out of following it. There’s nothing you can do about the spill (er, leak, I suppose), so in the long run that emotional investment is wasted. The Law of Diminishing Returns kicks in regarding the updates you’re receiving, and eventually it’s not worth the cost to keep following the spill.

    Contrast this to a personal activity, in which you have total or near-total control. You choose the activity because you expect to get some sort of satisfaction out of it, and this satisfaction keeps you engaged and returns the care you put into the activity. In essence, when doing something in your life, your emotional investment earns some pretty good interest, while following crises (and politics, though you might argue that I’m being redundant) gets you hammered with the equivalent of inflation.

    Attention span is a special case of this phenomenon. It is the amount of time something is worth when time is all you’re investing. If the novelty, entertainment, or satisfaction of something is no longer worth even the time you’re putting in, you call it quits. Actually, the more I think about it, the more this mirrors economics: when a given activity begins to return less value than the opportunity cost of the time, effort, and emotion you’re putting in, you no longer want to continue doing that activity.

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