The Oil Spill Officially Bores Me
I’m tired of writing about the oil spill. Quite frankly it bores me. I’d rather be writing about how Nancy Pelosi can probably hide small objects within the wrinkles on her face, and how Obama has a…way…of speaking…that is…very…annoying and…disjointed…and that………….annoys me very much. And he uses the phrase “Let me be clear” way too much. I know he’s probably pretty intelligent, he didn’t get to the presidency by being dumb, but it almost seems like they plucked him out of a “special” school somewhere at the age of 32, taught him how to wear a suit and read off of a teleprompter, and basically formed his flexible toddler-sized brain into a cult of personality for the Democrats.
But alas, I digress. He gave some speech tonight about the oil spill I think, I don’t even know anymore. Isn’t that sad? I don’t even care enough about the oil spill anymore to watch our President address the nation about it on national television. Hell, I don’t even care enough to Google it. Literally in the time it takes me to finish this sentence I could have Googled the answer to my question and known by now. But nope, I don’t care. Old news. Blame it on the years of video games or a US mindset similar to the proles in 1984, I don’t even have an attention span long enough to care about one of the greatest environmental issues ever to happen to the US. And I don’t even care enough to look up the exact number of months it’s been since the oil spill started so that I can put it into perspective how short my attention span is on an issue as important as this (yet again, I could have found the answer to that question by the time I finished this sentence). I started this blog to tackle some serious political issues with a bit of humor. Besides a Nelson Muntz laugh at the animals too stupid to swim or fly away form the slow moving black glob of oil making its way toward them, there isn’t really anything entertaining in this.
What a message to send out to Mother Earth though – if you’re such a bitch that you feel you need to hide the oil we need to survive under a couple thousand feet of water and the ocean floor, us humans will literally stab you with a giant straw and bleed the oil out of you until death out of spite. Quite frankly I’m proud of BP, they’ve struck a blow for us all. Maybe Earth will think twice next time before it tries to screw us humans over again. Earth got off easy this time; next time it screws with us it better remember that Obama hasn’t gotten rid of all of our nukes (yet).