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Those Election Things I’m Obligated To Write About

May 19, 2010

So apparently there were elections last night, which means it’s time for an overview of what happened. If I had to sum it up in a few words though: nothing important.

PA – Specter lost to Sestak. He switched parties about two years ago and it annoyed me pretty bad, and he was the incumbent, so really he had everything going against him. Sestak was an Admiral for the US Navy so he has that going for him. He has a 100% rating from the Brady Campaign and a F from the NRA though, so that’s not good. Who cares what he thinks though, he’s a junior senator from a moderate state.

PA12 – So Murtha, in a selfish move intended to only benefit himself and to throw his seat into a special election, decided to go ahead and stop living. Now if we use the Burns Effect to zoom into this boring picture, much like they would on some terrible public television documentary, it’s pretty obvious that they’re basically the same person. Yeah, Burns is a little more Republican but they’re both the stupid boring moderate type. So whatever. The democrats can have this seat. They have to vote on this again in November though when it comes time for an election that wasn’t caused by the selfish death of a guy who has the name of a Godzilla monster.

AR – Ok, so the Democrat’s primary in Arkansas apparently didn’t go to well. Hatler and Lincoln apparently had a pretty brutal campaign but in the end no one won. They’re going to have another election June 8th probably. I equate this to the election equivalent of  a brutal game of football between the San Francisco 49ers and the Houston Texans that ends 0-0 and has to go into overtime. It’s sort of disappointing, sort of interesting, but in the end no one really cares because it’s not like the game is going to make any difference whatsoever.

KY – Rand Paul won the Republican primary. I want him to lose. I want him to fail and go down in the history books as the laughingstock of 2010. I may agree with essentially everything he says politically, but at some point we need to make a stand as a country. Politics can’t get in the way anymore; we must cross our various political boundaries and come together to say that people with first names like “Rand”, “Mitt”, or “Barack” can’t be involved in political life. It reflects badly on our country as a whole when these “people” are allowed to run our country. I don’t think I’m going out on a limb here when I say that maybe that’s why the rest of the world hates us. Like I said, Rand Paul has some really good political views. If he’s anything like his dad these political views are going to be overlooked and laughed at by people like me who see Ron/Rand Paul and their supporters as mentally insane. Let’s hope he’s as good in real life as he is on paper. Oh, and he should get a name change. I’ll NEVER vote for a guy named “Rand”. It’s just unAmerican.

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